Okay, so yes, I’m mildly obsessed with Chloé Sevigny…
And no, it’s not just because I’m also mildly obsessed with the show Big Love, and her awe-inspiring spot-on portrayal of a displaced polygamist commune girl who rocks a hell of a French braid and wouldn’t dare show an inch of her décolletage.
And no, it’s not just because the woman can get away performing real-time oral sex on-screen with Vincent Gallo (yes, you heard me, Vincent Gallo), and in some circles (the ones the matter), be revered all the more for it.
And no, it’s not because she bears the same name as one of my most coveted fashion houses, and then did a tasty print campaign for it; no it can’t be that.
And no, it’s not due to the fact that she oh-so-subtly WORKED IT OUT as Patrick Bateman’s secretary, Jean–the one that got away.
And no, it’s not because she was also the face of UNIQLO, Japan’s version of H&M, which of course is wayyyyyyy better/hipper/higher quality/not nearly as seizure-inducing as H&M.
Okay, I lied; it’s because of all these things.
But perhaps mostly, it’s because the girl turns the red carpet into a veritable runway. Chloé Sevigny takes risks, and yes, sometimes she falls on her pretty face, but her risks are interesting. I mean, is it just me, or is the red carpet à la Jennifer Anniston and co., the most boring thing to hit Hollywood since Marley and Me? I’ve seen more interesting choices at my high school prom in Arkansas. I’d take interesting, well-crafted wacky pieces over the same Calvin Klein dress in the same muted color with the same, perfectly-placed sparkle any day. Sevigny wears CK (and believe me, I love CK!) too, but her genius is all in the knack for choosing the perfect piece. It’s the RED CARPET, come ON. And something tells me she doesn’t have a stylist up her bum either. Sevigny embodies, oozes smart couture. She’s not a Cher train wreck (although Cher’s ability to enrage Joan Rivers et al. never ceases to put a smile on my face). But even better: smart couture with a smile.
That’s right, I really do think I love Sevigny so much because despite all her antics (on and off screen) her splashes of haute couture on the runway, her devilishly unorthodox choices of screen rolls, she seems kind of…kind of…normal.
How’s that for wacky! The woman dons clothes that are seemingly much more madcap than she is as a person. Not that this perception of mine is in any way based on any hard facts–of course not. The woman writing this believes more in TMZ than any religious doctrine. So yes, maybe this is wishful thinking on my part, but I feel…I feel…I feel like Chloé and I could, you know, hang out. Picture it now: just me n’ Chloé munching out on chips and dip, discussing our favorite Sonic Youth albums, and how much that tape hurt her nipples during the filming of Gummo or something.
This is a woman that oozes style, pimps out couture, and yet, is also a girl you might bump into at your trusty corner American Apparel perusing gold lamé hand warmers.
I LOVE HER.
I love you, Chloé Sevigny.
Will you be my fwend?